Good-Bye Grandma - I'll Miss You

It's been a small whirlwind of emotions this week. On Sunday morning my grandmother - Realla Jane Johnson Fisher - passed away at about 8:30 am. My first reaction when my brother called me was feelings of relief. Relief because for the past 8 years my grandmother has been imprisoned in a body that wouldn't allow her to be the person she spent her life of being a woman of great faith, love and serve. She lived the gospel of Jesus Christ by the person that she was.

I went home yesterday for the funeral. The sentiments were echoed by everyone. She was a great woman. As I attended the funeral and saw her resting in peace I really realized how much her missed her vibrant personality. And until we meet again, I will miss her. The funeral was good and extremely tearful. My family, my extended family and all our other relatives proved that influence she had on us all. One of the deepest moments in the ceremony was when Mela Whiting sang the song "Last Touch".

The Last Touch

Their first touch at 17 was in the park, and the moon was full, she was beautiful to him, and her hair was long, and her eyes were blue, and her skin was warm and she turned to him and he thought that he knew what love was.

Another touch at 22 on their wedding night, and the stars were bright, she was beautiful to him, and her hair smelled sweet, and her lips were full, and her skin was warm and she turned to him, and he thought that knew what love was.

And then again at 25 when the baby came and the sun was high, she was beautiful to him, and her hair was damp and her fingers shook and her skin was warm and she turned to him, and he thought that knew what love was.

Later on at 54 setting on the porch, all the children grown, she was beautiful to him. Her hair was gray and her forehead lined her skin was warm and she turned to him, and he thought that knew what love was.

Their last touch at 85 was by her bed and the moon was full, she was beautiful to him, and her hair was thin and her eyes were closed and her skin was cold and she turned to him, and he knew, O how he knew what love was. After 68 years of laughter and tears he knew that he knew what love was.

I was familiar with this song and on the first line, I lost all control of my emotions. This song, of all songs, gives a testimony of the love my grandpa and grandma had for each other which was a strong example to us children - the way my brothers should treat their wives and the type of man my sisters and I should seek.

Today I am back in Utah, without my family, and it is really hitting me how the feeling of relief has changed to that of "sadness". Something is causing a lot of emotions within me. My heart just hurts a little at the thought of her leaving this mortal earth and leaving us until we see her again. Overall it is a very good thing that she has moved on to a better place and a place where she can serve again. But for today, I can shed some more tears of sadness.

In a long conclusion, I want to highlight memories I have of my grandmother. But as my grandmother lived her life, she lived in hand-in-hand with my grandfather and so all my memories and lessons involve the two of them together.

1. Will Work For Popsicles -
She taught us to work. On hot summer days when all we wanted was a Popsicle or on special occasions a can of soda-pop or ice cream sandwich, we would ask grandma for on from her freezer. In exchange for the treat, she would give us some task such as moving sticks from the orchard, stacking wood, sweeping the garage, or something else. In exchange for 10 minutes of good work, we will be justly rewarded. I don't know who got the better end of the deal.

2. Home Visits -
When I would drive home while in college, I would never leave without saying good-bye to grandma. Just before leaving her home, she would always make sure I had enough snacks to take in the car with me (without having to sweep the garage) and then would always slip me $20 and say, "here's a little something for you to come back again." She demonstrated this love for our visits home to see them and our family by helping a poor college student cover the costs.

3. NBC's E.R. -
Maybe this is a silly memory, but during my senior or junior year of high school E.R. aired. I don't know if it was the nurse in grandma or just the show, but she became a fan right away and oftentimes I would head over to her home in the evening and find her watching it. She was hooked on the show and soon I was hooked...and still am. I always said I started watching it with my grandmother.

4. I Love to See the Temple -
For years before they went on their mission, my grandparents wouldn't stay over too long with us on Monday nights because they had to get up at 4 am to go to the Temple to fulfill their temple assignment and they would follow up the next day with another day of service. For years, they would attend at least twice a week to serve in the temple and would emphasize the importance of the temple to us. When they were finally able to serve a mission, they chose to serve a mission in a temple and were called to the Denver Colorado Temple and serve faithfully there. It was evident the importance the temple was to them.

5. Sleep Tight and Stay Warm -
Grandma loved to take care of her grandchildren and would buy us little gifts. Aside from birthdays or Christmases she would see something at a store and just feel that we would need it for some reason. I remember one day when I was 10 or 12, grandma buying Christi and I some beautiful lavender coats with matching scarves. They made us feel so special to wear. Another time we arrived home from school and found some brand-new bedspreads on our beds. Finally, she noticed the lack of storage that we had in our bedroom and came home with a tall narrow shelf to help us out. That was just three surprises we received.

5. Called to Serve -
My grandmother spent of life of serving people around her at all times. She never lost an opportunity to give to anyone. Instead of mentioning a time before her stroke, I think the best was demonstrated after her stroke. She was entirely confined to a bed or chair and was 100% at the mercy of others. But when family or friends came to visit, she would say to them, "are you hungry? Let me get up and make you a sandwich" (or something). She would share how she was out shopping. Also, it may have sounded a little silly us knowing she couldn't do it, it didn't fail to show where her heart was.
6. Whoo-Hoo, Mother -
She had a lifetime of love for her 6 boys and husband. At dinners, after every prayer they would always share a little kiss (which I notice my siblings who are married have adopted), my grandparents would walk hand-in-hand everyone (unless a grandchild had grabbed the spare hands). But another example of her love was the type of men that she raised. My father and uncles are all great men, fathers, and husbands. They raised fantastic children - regardless of how different we are - and they married wonderful woman. They have carried on the example of strong marriages and devoted fathers and husbands.

7. Home Sweet Home -
One memory that will always be a memory was the home they lived in until Christmas 1990 when it burned to the ground. But the home was one that was so exquisite, especially for being a farm house. Her bedroom was deep red with large red glass windows. Her guest bathroom, known as the red bathroom, had a beautiful black and red marble tub and sink, and deep red carpeting. Her main room had the style of a parlor with a mirror tiled wall, a large chandler, and a deep plush green carpet. The basement of the house was half-full of all the things she had stored for years, and the other half a child's dream. There was a TV with a VCR, a weight set (kids love these), a ping pong table, and a lot of knooks and crannies to hide. Upstairs in the kitchen, we knew would could always find something to eat from grandma.

8. I Believe -
The gospel was so important to her. There wasn't even a question to her in her life. She faithfully served in her callings, she attended all her church meetings, she was active in church choir, and loved all elements in the gospel. Her simple devotion to the church was a great example to me because to her the church was not a difficult choice or lifestyle.

I will end on that note. She was a great woman, I have missed her for the last eight years, I am grateful that she out of the pain or whatever she felt for the past eight years and I am so much appreciate that opportunity I had to grow up next door to her for 13 years of my life and to constantly visit her for the 4 years while in college. It is a difficult time in all of our lives and she will be missed.